4/16/11.
From the Ever-Cluttered Desk of a Random Smoking Monkey. <berp>
[Preface: Opinions vary; just one will be demonstrated here, but good advice on this post and all your subsequent actions is to get as many other opinions as you can, and reach your own conclusions with the means you have at your disposal. In Mafia Wars, or Real-Life, it's the same damned thing! It's not my fault or problem if you prefer to hang out with Neanderthals.]
May I politely offer up an alternative theory as to why Lucky Stash/Spin Requests don't work like they used to, as a 2+year veteran player of Mafia Wars who is wicked envious at never having had the chance to get 240-600 reward points by 'spinning slots'. [80% of the times I've tried to subsequently have resulted in the same 'take' everybody gets nowadays; a shot of flaming liquor and a 'Bonus Spin' elsewhere, and about a 90% chance of my browser crashing due in part to my rural internet connectivity, but more largely, due to all the Flash© coding required to run this largely useless feature. Please don't even ask about 'Secret Stashes' or 'Victory Coins' posted to my wall!]
My theory, lately, given current parameters as I've been reading and keeping up with them: Zynga's Mafia Wars game started off being a huge phenomenon that had many people addicted, at first. (Roughly 2 years ago...) We all jumped at all the opportunities that presented themselves, within the basic framework Zynga provided. You could beat, get beaten, improve your character to not get beaten as often, rob, get robbed back for being a dick about it, rob people into yellow lines of taped failure for overextending themselves, trade, hustle, work the hitlists for positive and negative benefits, get your ass handed to you when you got ahead of your means, beat down 'tourists' in sick volume, dis, get dissed, deal, respond, and reciprocate according to however you wanted to play YOUR game. They called it Mafia Wars, after all, and everyone had their own respective definitions. (Currently, a few still do!) "There's consequences to your actions..."; remember that old chestnut of advice? If we wanted to play Farmville, we would have. We didn't. There was an almost 'wild-west' sentiment that only got to exist for about 5 months, and it was an absolute fucking BLAST! Meanwhile, we all clicked away at our respective conveniences, enjoyed ourselves, formed our gaming friendships, alliances, rivals and 'others'. We got to know one another, and we enjoyed the game.
Somewhere, in all this, though, [here's where the 'theory' part comes in:] Zynga started making a 'decent-bit-of-cheddar' on Mafia Wars and Farmville. [and, to a lesser degree, all their other pervert-friendly apps that have since died by the wayside. Old schoolers will remember getting invites to Speedy Cars, and beating the shit outta those poser fucks!] I digress: It was at one time just as much fun for us to play Mafia Wars as it was for Zynga to sell advertising on all the 'marketable audience' they allegedly 'built'.
Here's the thing, though. Zynga didn't 'build' anything. They formed a rudimentary framework, and the players came and finished up the property. We installed the drywall, trim, and fixtures, (clans) the plumbing, (blogs and podcasts) the landscaping, (scripts) the 'goods and services' (players with brains and foresight) the 'Aldermen' (CC players) and most importantly, the neighborhood (The MW 'at-large' community). Zynga speculated on the value of the 'real-estate', but the pioneers and residents actually built the damned neighborhood. In their defense, Zynga did a decent job of laying out the 'streets' two years ago, but they never 'built houses'. [Coupled with the fact that the internet itself was largely financed from US taxpayer dollars, and I'd LOVE to see how Zynga would've created their cash cow without our steady, constant, daily, and righteous support BEFOREHAND; but again, I digress....]
Lately, though, in this opinion, Zynga seems to feel entitled to rent owed on the neighborhood it takes credit for building, but the neighborhood has gone to shit since we all decided to live here. The remaining people residing aren't entirely convinced anymore. Hell, there once was 16 million in the surrounding area, "it was a nice place to raise kids...", but we're down to less than 3 million in 2 years! Do the math! The tax base is 'under' as the population flees from this crummy current blight! And you can't hardly blame anyone; name a recent 'improvement' in our 'neighborhood' over the last 18 months that makes anyone want to keep living here?
As to why Slot Machines don't work like they once did; and I'd KILL for a lucky spin at even 300 Reward Points; using the current stream-of-metaphor: Nobody goes to the casino anymore, because it's already been established that all Zynga games are 'cold; they never pay off, and there's not even enough people living in the neighborhood to support such a friggin' behemoth. (And they seem to favor dog-owners over tobacco smokers, which is yet another stream of argument: No one's ever been addicted to a fucking DOG!) When those Zynga clowns offer a 4.99 Prime Rib Buffet, it garners attention. When you try to make the same 4.99 Prime Rib Buffet look better with /'CD Spindles'/'Spiders'/"Mafia Wars© All-You-Can-Eat Soup and Salad Bar©, Un-Productive Bullshit/Spend your Next 3 Days Online Doing This Nonsense...
See where I'm going with all this?
In short words: Mafia Wars Slot Machine bonuses don't work 99% of the time on this account. Nor does Mafia Wars, 80% of the time, on any given day. Zynga's acting like a bunch of douchebag landlords trying to squeeze more rent out of the few remaining tenants left, but they rent crummy properties to us, so the incentive to remain is missing. Only the 'old-timers' want to live in this crappy neighborhood anymore, largely on nostalgia, [maybe due to emphysema...] and we're dying faster than the prospective new tenants come looking to move in!
It's still, at its foundation, a nice neighborhood. You wouldn't know this for fact, given how the landlords have treated it over the years. But if you take the time to get to know the people who've been here awhile, you'll find a nice place to spend your online time, and make it worth your while.
And you and your slot machine can go to San Francisco and fuck yourselves!
-'CF'-
Editor's note: I decided no editing was necessary, as The Smoking Monkey actually kept it pretty clean in reflecting his viewpoints. Chango's a character -- and anyone that knows him knows that I am understating his personality :0) I've had nearly two years to appreciate his sarcastically sincere, satirically earnest perspectives revolving around our favorite Facebook app - Mafia Wars.
Other good reads by Chango:
Facebook and Zynga Proudly Announce "All New Mafia Wars Achievements"!
All-New Mafia Wars Excitement Update [©2009-10 Strynga Dynga Extreme Enterprises, LTD. All Rights Reserved.]
[For Immediate Public Release-Zynga Announces "Mafia Wars© All-You-Can-Eat Soup and Salad Bar©" 2/19/2011]
